Ok, so it's hitting me hard now. I miss him. A LOT!
I tried to be strong, mature and understanding... WELL, TO HELL WITH ALL THAT!
My nights are lonely. I hate it when the clock strikes 11pm because that's when I used to call you up and now all I do is sit in the bathroom and cry. I tried. For good 14 days I tried to be strong. But it just hit me like John Travolta's FINAL AIM in Pulp Fiction. It nailed me right into the head, when I was busy writing my OCM paper. I blacked out. That was a first in my life. I had never experienced that. Well, I wouldn't even want to... And so I couldn't write a word... Had to leave attempting only 85%...
But that don't bother me!I am lost without him. I have no clue how am I going to survive in this big bad world without him by my side. I was in paradise when with him. And now it's just a crappy life that I'm struggling to live!
He doesn't know how magical his voice was(is!) He doesnt know how I could sail through storms(quite literally) if I get to hear his voice alone. How I could muster up my courage to face any damn thing on earth if I could hear his magical and filled-with-love-only-for-me voice!
But like I said earlier, Am not exactly in paradise! But I realised, his voice is not the only thing I long for... I am craving for the whole of HIM... Before him, I didnt even know I could love someone so much and could get THIS ATTACHED! Like nah nah! And my father always taught me, "be loyal, not attached".. How I wish I would have just heard that! I wouldn't have to bear the I-told-you-so look... :'(
But now, I have decided.. I am not going to cry over the past and wait for him. I am going to smile at the future and wait for him...(waiting is invariable)
Now now... Everyone knows how instinctive I have become... Since when did Niyati start planning and deciding......
So she hears all kinds of break up songs- old/new/hindi/english/fast rock/slow rom... all kinds!
Some of them are-
1) Piya basanti re
kahe sataye
aaja!
2) Aaj din chadheya..
(this one I could write the whole song)
3) (I have listed this one in an earlier post)
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends,
Why do all good things come to an end?
4) dard mein bhi yeh lab muskura jate hai
beete lamhein humein jabhi yaad aate hai
5) Bhool ja jo hua use,
Muskura, ae kasam tujhe
Khud ko yu na de tu saza....
6) Big girls don't cry!
7) Why did you have to go
and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting
like you're somebody else
gets me frustrated
8) I hate that I love you so much!
9) Sau dard *feels like crying again*
---- And as usual... the list goes on...!!
To You,
I LOVE YOU.Dil se na jati hai
yaadein tumhari,
kaise tum bin jee na...
Aankhon mein tu hain
saanson mein tu hai
aankhein band kar lo
toh man mein bhi tu hai.
Chuke yu chali hawa,jaise chu gaye ho tum
phool jo khile They woh
shool ban gaye hai kyu
jee raha hu isliye,
dil mein pyar hai tera
zulm seh raha hu kyu,
intezaar hai tera,
tumse mile bina jaan bhi na jaayegi!
Oh I could write the whole song...
So I'm going to shut up now... sit and cry for sometime...
signing off for a long time!
-Niyati S.
1 comments:
Hmmm I can understand your pain. But do tell me one thing...Is "sitting and crying" the only solution left now?
Does it help to run away from your daily duties and friends?
Remember one thing that life is really big and you have to achieve many things in life.
Stop thinking about the past and concentrate on what you want to do and what you want to be.
Take Care...
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